Mike v2.0 (A Firesetter Short Story) Read online

  “Maybe, it wasn’t ten years,” Steve continued. “No, come to think of it, it was definitely closer to five. I started drinking again when Joanne left me for the second time. No. It was the first time, but that doesn’t matter. Every time she left, I got drunk just to celebrate.”

  Joanne wasn’t my grandmother, but rather Steve’s second and third wife, of which the first one had also left him in a rage.

  As for my grandmother, I knew basically nothing, except that my mother had been conceived during a one-night stand. Later, she had died in a spaceplane crash when my mother was still a child.

  “Caused by my father, no doubt,” Steve always insisted, growing increasingly remorse, “because I loved her.”

  “No, he didn’t cause it,” my mother snapped. “It was a mechanical malfunction. And, you didn’t love my mother at all. You can’t even remember her name, Steve. Stop filling Mike’s head with these ridiculous stories.”

  “She’s right.” Steve chuckled, cheering up again, while nudging me conspiratorially. “I have no clue who your grandmother was, but I'm certain she was totally hot. Hot women love princes like us, Mikey, even when we look like toads.”

  “Do I look like a toad?” I had asked, being an impressionable five year old at the time.

  “Not at all, little dude. You’re fortunate in that you look like me and not your old man, Thunk.” Steve stuck out his tongue, pronouncing my father’s nickname with a great deal of aspiration. “Actually, you look like my old man with your curly black hair and all. The Great Emperor, version 2.0, that’s gonna be you, Mikey-boy. You stick with me and we’ll make you a better king than even mad Senya.”

  “Stop it, Steve!” my mother probably cried, hustling me off to bed, or bath, or school. “I ought to banish you to your suite before you corrupt my child.”

  “I wish you would banish him to an old folk’s home instead,” my father undoubtedly added. “But, I doubt there is a single facility on this entire planet willing to take him.”

  “If I go, you’re coming with me, Thunk,” Steve spat, waggling his tongue at my father’s name.

  “Fine by me,” my mother added. “I’ll gladly put you both away. Mikey and I will be just fine on our own.”

  The nurse, having acquired numerous vials of my royal blood, curtseyed and giggled her way out of the room. I was left alone with Steve, who undoubtedly took a few moments to enjoy the nurse’s parting view.

  “Well, Mikey, what are we going to do about you now?” His voice circled from the door, to the windows, before settling back upon me.

  “Shoot me,” I suggested. “I’m damaged goods.”

  “Ha! You just need to get yourself repaired.”

  “The doctor said it’s going to take time. We can do nothing but wait it out.” I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as the prospect of extended blindness sounded daunting.

  “Harrumph.” Steve paused and clicked his tongue. He scratched his head, and I imagined a cloud of dandruff snowflakes swirling in the air. “You know what I think, junior?”

  “No.”

  “I think we need to take you to another hospital. This one has gone to hell anyway. Obviously, the doctors here are incompetent ignoramuses. Now, back in my father’s day, this place—ach! You don’t want hear about that now. I’m thinking we need to go to Planet Rozari. Those dudes are smarter, much more on the ball. Are you up for a ride in space, buddy boy?”

  Normally, I would have been up for anything. Normally, a trip across the stars to the neighboring system of Rozari would have thrilled me beyond measure, especially since I had never left the planet Rehnor. Frankly, I had never left my future kingdom of Mishnah. In fact, I had hardly ever emerged from the palace gates, except to go play baseball, which of course, was how I ended up here.

  However, at this particular moment in time, I wasn’t certain interstellar travel with my grandfather was the best idea.

  “You had better ask my mom about that,” I advised. “She trusts the doctors here.”

  “We won’t tell her,” Steve announced, pushing back his chair and shuffling to his feet. “Be ready to blow this Popsicle stand in the morning, kiddo. You and I are going for a ride.”

  “Wait Steve!” I started to panic as I realized Steve might actually want to go through with this plan. If he intended to break me out of here and take me to Rozari, chances were, he would. I imagined my mother and father arriving for a visit in the morning, only to discover my hospital bed empty with no trace of where I had gone. “We can’t just leave without telling.”

  “Why not?”

  “My mother is the Empress Sara. You have to ask her permission for everything, especially when it comes to me.”

  “Bah! Empress schmempress. Her bloody empire is the size of my big toe. Back in my father’s day, we ruled half the stars in this galaxy.”

  “I know. I know.” Back in the Great Emperor’s day, everything was always so much better. “She’s my mother.”

  “So? She’s my daughter, or at least I think she is. I can’t remember if we ever did genetic testing. She could be totally somebody else, although that wouldn’t explain why you look so much like my old man.”

  “Still, Steve. We had better ask.”

  “Are you going to be a king or a princess, Mikey? Come on, boy. Where’s your spine? Did your mother take it? I bet she locked it in the same box with your dad’s. You’ll probably find his balls in there, too.”

  Baseballs?

  “I’m not ready to be a king, Steve. I’m only eight years old.”

  “That’s irrelevant. King training starts at birth, or at least it should have. Back when I was your age, my father had me—Ach! You don’t want to hear about all the hell I went through. Don’t worry about your mother. I’ll call her when we get there. We’ll get you fixed up and be back in time for your next baseball game. Ha ha! Unless you want to stay and do some sightseeing. How about a little vacationing while we’re there? I can take you to the beach. I know a great one where the sand is pink.”

  “I don’t know, Steve.”

  “Come on! It’ll be just you and me, Mikey-boy. It’s about time you had some real family bonding with your old gramps. I’m not going to live forever, you know. I got the short end of the stick in the gene pool and ended up totally mortal unlike my old man. See you at oh-six-hundred, bright and early, kid. Be ready to fly.”

  “Wait! How are we going to get there?” I called as Steve’s footsteps took him to the door. There weren’t any spaceplanes around these days.

  “Ha ha!” Steve chortled again, and although I couldn’t see it, I imagined he was waggling a finger at me. “You just wait. I have another trick up my sleeve that involves an old spaceplane and an old Imperial SpaceNavy pilot, who just happens to be Moi.”

  “Oh no,” I muttered aloud.

  “Oh yes,” he replied as he left the room. “I’ve still got it. Like riding a bicycle, junior. Flying a spaceplane is something you never forget. Hey ya, dollface! How’s about you check out my blood pressure. I can tell it’s rising at the sight of you.”

  “Oh, Sir!” some nurse giggled, just as my door slammed shut.

  “Oh no,” I sighed, hoping that by morning Steve would have forgotten all about this.

  That night, at least I think it was night, as in this eternal darkness, I really couldn’t tell, my door opened and something was rolled into the room.

  “Ach, there you are little one. Lucky you. You’re to room with the Crown Prince.”

  This statement was followed by some more noises as machines were attached to my new companion and blankets were adjusted on his bed.

  “Goodnight then, boys,” the nurse called, her footsteps once again taking her to the hall, followed by the door closing softly in her wake.

  This was odd, I thought, my ire rising like the hair on the back of my neck. I had a roommate, something I had never had before, and didn’t necessarily want. After all, I was the Crown Prince, born and raised to believe I was
far too precious and too important to share my air with any old common child.

  On the other hand, all this cuddling and coddling had left me with exactly zero friends. In fact, I had no clue what a friend was or how one went about dealing with one.

  At any rate, I figured, being that I was stuck in this bed, it wouldn’t hurt to attempt to converse with my new companion.

  “Hello,” I said, and instinctively held out my hand for the requisite kiss of respect and obeisance. “How do you do?”

  No response came, save a soft intake of breath, giving me pause to consider how my hearing had sharpened even while my eyes had failed. I could appreciate that, even if I didn’t like it. However, I was less appreciative of my sense of smell and the faint scent of fire which emanated off the boy.

  Drawing my hand back, especially as no introduction was forthcoming, I feared the lad might have suffered tragic burns. I imagined him encased in gauze, a veritable mummy covered in weeping and oozing wounds. Not wanting to blindly touch or disturb this poor and even more unfortunate child, I decided a friendship was not in store.

  Turning my back to him, I tried to sleep, yet an odd sensation coursed down my spine. I grew cold despite the warmth of the room. My head, already fuzzy with both my injury and the strong pharmaceuticals pumping through my veins, felt like a blanket had been thrown over me.

  I coughed and gasped for a breath, trying to shake this suffocating feeling away, and a moment later, it cleared, leaving me with a sensation I could only describe as joy. For a moment, I felt inexorably happy. I felt as if just this second, I had been reborn. I still couldn’t see, and my head still ached, but somehow, I was renewed.

  Was it my roommate that caused these feelings in me? I didn’t know for certain, but inexplicably I attributed them to him.

  “Tell me your name,” I cried jubilantly, turning back and extending my hands, determined to declare him a knight, or at the very least, a squire in my future realm.

  Before he could speak, the door opened again and Steve’s shuffling footsteps hurried through.

  “Ready to go, buddy?” my grandfather called. “Your chariot is parked in the back lot. It only took me the last seven hours to service the transmission and plug the leak in the hydraulic cable. We’ll make it to Planet Rozari in no time flat. I’ve still got it, Mikey-boy. This old man can still fly. Ach! Kari-fa!”

  “Ach!” I shrieked, echoing Steve’s shout, minus the obscenity, fearing I knew not what in my darkened world.

  “What in the hell are you doing here? Did someone unlock the door to your prison cell? Get out! Kari-fa! You’re the last one I want to see.”

  “Steve?” I gasped, and then, sighed as I realized my grandfather was having one of his fits. He had gone off his rocker again, his ancient mind mistaking now for long ago. In addition, did I smell a bit of alcohol on his breath? Was he smoking something other than his usual tobacco?

  “Are you okay, Mikey? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

  “Who?”

  “Him, of course,” Steve snapped, his breath coming hard. Probably, he was waggling a finger at my roommate, the fire-burned kid.

  “Now Steve,” I said, sounding amazingly like my mother and using her same placating tone. “The poor child is ill. He hasn’t said a word to me. He’s far too sick.”

  Storming over to my bed, my grandfather practically threw himself on top of me. “Yeah, he’s sick alright, but not in the way you think. Listen to me, you devil, you leave my grandkid alone. Don't you touch him. If you do, I’ll—I’ll—I’ll do something.”

  “What?” I heaved an annoyed sigh. “Nobody has touched me except for you.” I pushed Steve away before I choked on his stale alcohol, cigarette, and old man smell.

  “He doesn’t have to touch you, Mikey. He can do things with his mind.”

  “Mhm.” I sighed again. “Steve, I think you had better go home. You best sleep off whatever it is you have consumed. Would you like me to ring my mother and have her send a car?”

  “Kari-fa! I don’t need an eight year old telling me what to do, especially when I’m trying to save his ass.”

  At this point, I was thoroughly embarrassed by Steve’s behavior, and glad my roommate was probably asleep. It was definitely unbecoming of a prince to storm into a public room and carry on with such a fit. Had my mother been there, she would have been horrified, while my father would have laughed and threatened Steve with the Home.

  “I apologize,” I told my roommate on the off chance he was awake. “My grandfather, the Imperial Prince sometimes becomes quite confused. Clearly, he mistakes you for someone else.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Mikey,” Steve growled, his voice now coming from across the room. “I know exactly who he is, but what I don’t know is why he’s here. What do you want? Out with it.”

  “Steve! Please!”

  “Shut up, junior. I’m going to handle this. Are you just going to sit there? State your business, and then, get going.”

  “But, I find you so entertaining,” a boy replied, startling me, for clearly he was wide awake. His accent was from the city, his lilt like that of the children on my baseball team. “Hello again to you, Steve. It has been some time.”

  “Not long enough!” My grandfather snapped. “And, I’ll gladly take a rain check for another hundred years.”

  The boy laughed, the sound as pleasant as the chiming of soft bells, or the tinkling of a forest brook as the water drifted across a path of shiny stones.

  Inexplicably, I laughed with him, as if his joy was a contagion. I didn’t stop to think how my grandfather was acquainted with this boy, nor did I question how he came to address the Imperial Prince by his given name.

  “Stop that! Both of you!” Steve declared, even more irate than before. “You’re not funny, and you’re not wanted here.”

  “I could have sworn I heard someone call,” the boy replied, a puzzled tone to his voice. “Well, in any case, I am here now, and here I shall be.”

  “Fine. We’re leaving. The room’s all yours. Mikey, get out of bed.” Steve’s feet shuffled as if he was turning around to me.

  “I can’t, Steve,” I protested, just as he stumbled. This was followed by the sound of a chair screeching as it was dragged across the floor.

  “Ow! Damn this sciatica. I hate being an old man.”

  “There is an alternative,” the boy suggested.

  “Shut up!”

  “Sit down, Steve!” I begged, half bolting from the bed myself. “Please don’t hurt yourself anymore.”

  “I am sitting. Now.” The chair exhaled a breath of air as his weight fell into it. “Give me a minute to rest.”

  “Take all the time you would like,” the boy replied. “Well, not all the time. You know what I mean.”

  Steve groaned, exhaling a full dictionary’s list of profanities. A moment later, he began to snore.

  I sighed with relief and leaned back on my pillow. I couldn’t relax though, not until I found out who my roommate was and how he came to know my grandfather.

  “Tell me your name,” I commanded in my most imperious tone. “You know who I am, do you not?”

  “Indeed,” the boy replied, a hint of laughter in his voice. “You are the Crown Prince Mikal. As to my name, it is the same as yours, more or less.”

  “You are called Mike?”

  “Close enough.” He laughed again, just as Steve snorted awake.

  “What? You’re still here? Kari-fa! I was hoping you were just a bad dream. Come on, Mikey. We’re late to our appointment in the stars.” Before I could protest, my grandfather bolted to his feet, shuffled over to my bed, and picked me up. “We need to get you out of here. We need to get you away from that demon before he corrupts your soul.”

  “I’m not a demon,” the other Mike said. “I thought you knew.”

  It was at just that moment the door creaked open again.

  “Now, where do you think you’re going?” the night nu
rse demanded. “Put that boy back in his bed!”

  “I’m just giving my grandson a hug,” Steve declared, dropping me back down. “I can do that, can’t I, or is that against the law?”

  The nurse didn’t respond. Instead she took my temperature and pushed some buttons on the machines.

  “You go back to sleep, Your little Highness.” She patted my cheek.

  As soon as the door was shut again, Steve hurried to my side.

  “Let’s go, junior. We’ll climb out the window if we have to.”

  “Steve? I can’t! I’m totally blind.”

  “That’s no excuse, Mikey-boy. Are you a prince or a frog? Sometimes life requires clandestine maneuvers in the dark. Stick with me, junior, and I’ll turn you into a king.” With that, he pulled open the window. Steve, despite his sciatica, despite his constant cough, climbed out, a second later, I could hear him drop into the brush. Fortunately, my room was on the hospital’s first floor. “Come on. What are you waiting for, kiddo? If this old geezer can do it, so can you.”

  What was I waiting for? I sat there in the bed thinking myself the wimpiest Prince around.

  “Go on,” the other Mike said. “You’ll be fine.”

  “How do you know?” I snapped. “Do you have any clue what it’s like to be blind?”

  “Mikey! Come on, dude. We need to fly,” Steve called, and then under his breath, he mumbled, “Before your mother finds out.”

  Partly to prove it to the other Mike, but mostly to prove it to myself, I slipped out of bed and felt my way to the open window. It wasn’t as difficult as I thought as I could feel the fresh air on my face and hear the sound of the morning birds in the trees outside. In only six steps, my hands found the window ledge.

  “See, you did it, Mikey-boy,” Steve cried, pulling me through.

  Now, even though I was outside and in a place I had never seen before, I could almost visualize the parking lot, the street, and the building behind me.

  “Well done, partner,” my grandfather declared, slapping me on the back, before slamming the window shut. “So long, evil angel. Go back to hell.”